Letters to Michael: Climbing out of the Deep End and into Warmer Waters

My dearest Michael I am feeling like the biggest of my emotional storms has passed.  At least this is what I would like to believe.  For right now I have regained some of my optimism. What few grey clouds that blow in and out should be easier to handle.   I think that my frustration and helplessness to change the fact that you will not be calling me or waiting for me somewhere is now reduced to acceptance. But just because I am learning to accept the finality of it all doesn’t mean I feel any less sad.   I can’t say it is easy to be without you but I am getting up every morning and learning to try.  Perhaps swimming is allowing me some of the comfort that I need.  You always looked for places to stay that had comfortable beds that fit my standards and you always liked when I found a pool or body of water that met my temperature requirements. So far you would be glad that all the water I have found here is just the perfect temperature so I can relax.  Floating in a weightless state and staring at the horizon is actually quite therapeutic.
Lori and Mark’s pool was wonderful and we were entertained by birds.  All day long there was a constant rotation of black birds who visited to bathe, get a drink, or wash their food.  Occasionally they would come by to dampen their nest supplies.  Since it was mating season the big male birds would land on the lawn and flair out their feathers and entertain us with a little dance.  The females always seemed indifferent and not as impressed as I was.  But then I am not looking for a suitable mate.   Because of their regular visits to the pool we were often finding things that they dropped into the water.  There would be pieces of nest material, crab legs, and once we found a tiny whole fish that had a little suction cup thing under its chin.  If you were here you might ask, “Do fish have chins?” I am sure we would laugh thinking about that question every time we went snorkeling.
We have been to several beautiful beaches to swim or snorkel with our new friend Kathy.  I wish you were here to meet her.   I know you would have found an instant friendship with her just as I have. We have a lot in common including our love of cooking and she has a granddaughter due just four days before our grandson.  Kathy has given us more time and attention than anyone could ever expect of a brand new friend.  Page, Chandy and I will be eternally grateful to her.  She always seems to show up at the right time to keep us busy, keep us well fed, and show us around.
Huatulco has approximately thirty-five bays with lovely beaches.  To reach them, in many cases, you must drive a distance on twisting narrow roads. Today Page and Chandy got a little green as we reached our destination at the end of a particularly curvy road.  However the beautiful beach was worth the stomach rolling ride.  Once again, the water temperature was perfect.  Unfortunately, the water was a bit rough so I was very cautious not to venture out too far.  As with most of the beaches we have visited, there are open thatched roof structures occupied by restaurants that serve a varied menu and have cute names.  One day we ate at “Ay! Caray” which was fitting as that was all I wanted to do that day.  Today we chose the restaurant called “The Best Place on the Beach” which also seemed fitting.   This is the low season for tourists so many of the restaurants compete for our business and offer guests a safe spot to hang out for the day with very reasonable prices on food and beverages.  Today the food was particularly delicious and we had nearly the whole restaurant to ourselves.  You would have enjoyed the laid back atmosphere, lounged in a comfortable chair or hammock, while you watched the surf and beautiful women stroll by.  There was even a clothing optional beach nearby but only a couple of brave souls dared full exposure.  With all the sand I’d collected in my bathing suit, in the rough water, it was tempting to disrobe and join them.
So far the fish are not as plentiful or as colorful as the ones we saw in Thailand or the Sea of Cortez.  I look forward to swimming in our favorite spot right in front of the house in Baja.  I wonder if the fish we saw three years ago are still there.  I think fish are territorial and can live for years so I hope so.  I remember a couple of large turquoise and pink parrot fish that would greet me each time I went into the water.  I know that if you were here with me now we would be having these kinds of conversations. You would be talking about how ready you are to move out of this claustrophobic condo and travel on to Buena Vista.  It has been a long adventure and I think you were really ready to enjoy this last month of rest and relaxation with our friends and relatives who planned to join us. Throughout the trip you kept mentioning how you couldn’t wait to treat our guests to some of your favorite restaurants. You wanted them to find the magic that we have always found in Buena Vista.  I am sure that it will seem odd to float in the perfect water in front of the house and not see you swimming beside me or waving from the porch.  This is just another cloud I will have to wish away.