Letters to Michael: Los Angeles, April 22, 2012

Dearest Michael, it has only been a week since your stroke took you away from me;  however, Page and I are home already.  We are staying at Jan’s house surrounded by family and friends.  My untrained brain expects you to come through the door and find out why we started the party without you.  Today we celebrated your life at the Kiwanis Club in Hermosa Beach.  You told me many times about the wonderful birthday celebrations you had for your sons at the park nearby; today we had a party for you.  I think you would have been overwhelmed by the turnout of at least 350-400 people who quickly filled the chairs, the adjacent rooms, and spilled out all the doors.  I knew we should have had the gathering in a larger venue, but to pull together this event, in such a short time, was was difficult enough.  Now that I think about it I guess I should have tried to pulled a few strings with the athletic director at Mira Costa or something.   A gymnasium would have been the best place to hold such a large number of people.   But I was just too upset to think that clearly from Guatemala City.   Fortunately we had some wonderful people working on my behalf to pull this shin-dig off and made it the best party event ever! 

My dear friend, Jan Davids worked tirelessly to coordinate the women on the street who stepped forward to offer their support and help.  Along with Shelley, Lisa, Liza and countless others this event was a success.  In your honor the Ninth Street neighbors made food in the tradition of a pot-luck similar to the ones you loved.  Page had her friend, Billy Graw, furnish a taco bar, and the volleyball group made sure that beer and sodas were over-flowing. 

Liza and Ed, Mary and Tom even paid for wonderful obits to be published.  I guess, as was typical of your age group, you often read that column in the paper.  Many times you would find notices of friends or your parent’s friends that you knew.  Quite often you would remark about what little information was written about the person you knew, and then you would tell me stories about them to fill in what was omitted.  With that in mind, I wrote something even you would have been proud to read.

I was surprisingly calm today.  I wanted this to be the best party I had ever thrown for you and I didn’t have the time, or the inclination to cry.  I wanted to be able to talk to the audience without a meltdown.  It was important that they knew you like I did.  Then there were several other participants who told flattering stories about you that would have made you smile.  Your brother, Tom talked about your relationship with him and your family.  Joyce Davis, who went to school with you from kindergarten through College, told a hilarious story about you initiating her into the neighborhood “Spy Club” that was only for boys. This brought tears of laughter to eveyone's eyes.   Next, Liane Sato, Marty Verdugo, Nick, your student, and the current Samho Athletic Director all told great stories about your impact on Samoh High School and the athletic program.  It was obvious to everyone how you affected their lives and those of your students.   Then Anthony Curran took the podium to complete the program.  He spoke about your importance to him and his family and all the other families on Ninth Street.  Everyone spoke of you in such loving and even humorous terms.  They made you come to life for me and everyone else. Quite a few of the stories I had never heard before.  I know you would have loved to have heard them all.   I am also sure that there were others in the audience that would have loved to come forward to add their recollections of their time with you.  But that might have taken until midnight and we only had the hall until 3 pm.   I am hoping that over the next few years these people will step forward and relate these stories to me so that I can keep that spark of you burning for a very long time.

Best of all though was the DVD.  I was determined to use those songs you sent me over the radio.  It was as if you said to me, “These fit in all the segments of my life.”  All I needed was to match the photos to the songs.  And that is where Page and Peter, Melaine, and Page’s friend Shanti stepped forward and worked tirelessly to make sure the DVD was perfect.  Now that I look back on that DVD I can’t believe that they made such a beautiful one in less than 24 hours. It looks very professional.  Most importantly, it represents your life quite well and it would have even brought tears to your eyes.  You were such a push over for smaltzy stuff anyway.  I remember it didn’t take much for you to cry over a TV show or touching movie.  Even the cute kids on the street could make you tear up when they did something particularly cute or funny. Liza tried to put the un-cut version of the DVD on You-Tube.  Overtly, I think you would have thought that was over the top, “Who would want to see that?” you might ask.   But secretly, I think you would have been flattered and asked me to watch, “Look I finally made it to You-Tube.”  

Unfortunately, with copy right infringement rules, the DVD had to be published without the music.  And without the music you clandestinely provided, it just isn’t quite the same.  But, just like our wedding video, which you would show to perfect strangers when you had the chance, I have a few copies of your DVD and plan to show it whenever anyone shows even the slightest interest.  Seeing you up on the big screen made me proud that I was involved in the story of your life.  It was a very quick twenty-one years, and the last twenty-one years.   But for me it was the best chapter of my life so far!