Letters to Michael: Traveling With You, Still a Hassle!

May 16, 2012

Dearest Michael, where were you when I needed you?  Yesterday was a travel day for me and it was exhausting. When you were alive you would often comment about how hard the day was for you and now I am alone and finding it doubly difficult.  This is the one part of the trip you looked forward to very much, to go to Baja.  I find it sad that you couldn’t be here to share this with me.  I left the Mexico City Ramada Inn at nine am and was going through security forty-five minutes later.  That’s where getting you through security three weeks ago was a challenge, and yesterday was no exception.  First, they took my Huatulco pure vanilla.  I had great plans for that yummy vanilla.  It would have been wonderful for flavoring pancakes and using it in a lovely, fruit infused cake of some kind.  It passed through security at the Huatulco airport so I didn’t even think about it for Mexico City.  Then they gave me a bunch of hassle about you again.  This time it was much worse.

They began with spending several minutes looking at your paperwork and making calls back and forth to the higher ups, I guessed.  It was at least ten minutes of standing at the end of the conveyor belt waiting for them to decide whether or not to let “Us” pass.  Finally, they brought in a guy who could speak some English.  Apparently, the fact that you were not properly packaged in a “regulation urn,” caused them concern.   I had read that a sturdy, properly sealed box was good enough but, they kept shaking their heads no.  Of course this was never conveyed to me three weeks ago as I passed through the first time.  I explained, “I have been through LAX, Huatulco, and Mexico City.  The only TSA problems I have had are in Mexico City. Why is that?”  Of course they couldn’t answer that question.  I looked around and realized I was surrounded by three TSA employees who just kept staring at me. I guess they were waiting for me to do or say something.  I probably should have asked for the nearest “urn” store.  Perhaps I should have said, “Well do you happen to have another urn handy from the last widow you hassled like this?”

But I was too upset to get sarcastic, and with their command of the English language, I was afraid I might get delayed further.   So I just pushed your box toward one of the TSA people and said, “You want him?”  He immediately put his hands up and shook his head no.  Then, just as quickly I retracted that offer and wrapped my arms around the box and said “Well, l you can’t have him, he’s mine and I intend to take him to the house in Baja where he wanted to be!” The whole scene was silly.  I know that now but, almost immediately, I dissolved into tears. I was a melting mess with multiple TSA agents not sure what to do with me.  However, within seconds after the tears began to flow, miraculously, it was okay for me to pack you up again and go to the gate.  I guess one female agent felt badly enough that she offered to call the doctor for me because I must have appeared shaken and weak from the whole ordeal.  I was just so angry that I had to deal with them at all.   I just shook my head no, packed up my things, and walked away.  Later, I began to wonder why tears always had to be my ticket out of Mexico City.  Maybe I should have started crying before I put you into the x-ray machine and just cut out all the hassle?  Common sense seems to have no place with Mexico City TSA agents.

Perhaps I am just tired of the hassles of travel.  I am glad this is my last bit of travel out of the country with you.  I just don’t have the energy to carry around this heavy box any longer.  There are just not enough words to express to others why I felt I needed to bring you here.  Funny thing is, right now, I don’t feel vindicated or rewarded that I put up a fight to get your Ashes here.  I still feel that I failed because I didn’t get you here alive.

 I want you to know that Los Barriles is just as beautiful as you told me it would be.  I didn’t see the Martin Verdugo Hotel and Trailer Park when we visited before.  You boasted about how nice the rooms were, and how beautiful the Sea of Cortez was, and how much you wanted to stay in the town just to try it out for a while.   Well, I am here, and you were right, it is all true.  I am staring out at aqua blue water, long stretches of white sand and several fishing boats rocking back and forth in the breeze that ripples across the water and cools the air.  The weather is absolutely perfect with a cloudless blue sky and no humidity. There is an outdoor bar that has delicious $2 margaritas that you would love.  Right now there are about a dozen fishermen sitting at the bar laughing and boasting about their catch of the day.  They deciding who will win the money they pooled for the guy with the largest fish.  The more they drink the larger the fish become. 

I am here for two days just because I am honoring your request to stay here.  I would tell you, if I could, “As usual, you’re right, it is beautiful, and almost worth the aggravation I put up with in the Mexico City airport.” The taco stand still exists and sells the best shrimp tacos in town.  There is a new ice cream store where the yummy mango bars are made from home grown mangos.  Doug Steer, and his wife Rosa are still in real estate and think the market here is slow but improving.    On May 16 we move to the house situated twenty footsteps from the water where I will stay with various relatives and friends for a month.  Even though I know the answer, I still wonder why you are not here to enjoy it with me.